Author: Bill Willard

Article:
You’ll be judged from the moment you walk into a room; the way
you stand, sit, and use your hands can send messages—intended or
otherwise. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good—and sometimes
contradicting your intended meaning.

Because body language is often subconscious, it's more
spontaneous and less controlled, and shows our true feelings and
attitudes. "Our nonverbal messages often contradict what we
say in words," says Jo-Ann Vega, president of JV Career and
Human Resources Consulting Services in Nyack, N.Y., "When we
send mixed messages or our verbal messages don't jibe with our
body statements, our credibility can crumble."

People tend to believe the non-verbal.

Body language works both ways, of course. So learn to
read the signals prospects and clients are sending during
interviews. Here’s rundown of common types of body language and
nonverbal communication, and what they can mean. I say “can”
mean because there are not always hidden meanings behind every
gesture. If a client rubs her forehead while you're speaking,
for example, she may just have an itch.

Body Language Tips You Can Put to the Test

Here’s a rundown of some nonverbal cues that can maintain your
credibility and professionalism--and just might save your day!

Make a Confident Entrance – Get down to business the
minute you walk into a prospect’s home or business. Don’t
rummage through your briefcase or pour over papers if you have
to wait a few minutes (read a magazine, instead). Shake the
person’s hand firmly (that goes for both the popular genders),
and take charge of yourself by choosing the most
appropriate-seeming chair and being seated without waiting to be
asked.

Watch Your Distance -- Prospects and clients may be
uncomfortable when their personal space is invaded. Outgoing
types like keeping a 20-to-50-inch zone around their bodies,
while introverts prefer more space. Until you know otherwise,
give people plenty of room, but lean in to make key points or
display self-confidence.

Maintain Eye Contact – Secure people with high
self-esteem match their facial expressions to their message,
rather than always wearing the same one. Smile and maintain eye
contact to project openness, sincerity and honesty (without
staring, which can be intimidating); looking down and sketchy
eye contact implies lack of confidence.

Pay Attention to How You Speak – Slipping over to the
verbal, use a natural tone and stick to your normal speaking
volume, rate and rhythms. Secure SBOs and professionals have
relaxed, well-modulated voices that let them express enthusiasm
and interest. Speak in simple, straightforward sentences, avoid
clearing your throat, using "ah" and "um" or other vocal ticks
that are signs of nervousness or being over-rehearsed.

Mind Your Posture and Gestures – You want to come across
as confident, relaxed, positive and well-balanced. Stand up
straight, but walk freely, swinging your arms and taking
determined strides. Careful attention to what is being said is
often indicated by peering out over eyeglasses; cupping chin
between thumb and fingers; putting hands to bridge of nose, or
stroking chin. Fidgety mannerisms mean the person isn't paying
attention. Avoid appearing rigid or tense, and be aware of the
other signals you’re sending…

• Disagreement is signaled by folded arms, crossed legs, picking
imaginary lint from your clothing or running your hands over
your face are signs of disagreement. • Cooperation is
demonstrated by sitting on the edge of chair; hand to face;
hands open, arms uncrossed.

• Negative attitudes or deception are commonly indicated by
frequent eye blinking; hand covering mouth while speaking;
frequent coughing; looking away while speaking; or rapid
sideways glances.

• Frustration is shown by pointing an index finger; rubbing hair
or back of neck; wringing hands, sighing and tightly clenched
hands.

• Boredom or indifference are generally indicated by eyes not
focused at speaker or looking elsewhere; head in hand; sloppy or
informal body posture; or preoccupation with something else.

Remember, because all of this works both ways, learn to read
what prospects aren’t telling you. Look for confirming
communications either verbal or nonverbal.

Cross-Cultural Differences

Toss people from different cultures into the mix, and body
language can become even more meaningful.

For example:

• If you’re telling a Japanese prospect how well you understand
his situation and objectives, but happen to be casually waving
your hand in front of your face with the palm facing outward,
don’t be surprised if your prospect looks somewhat bewildered.
In Japan, that gesture can signal that you don’t know something
or feel unworthy of a complement.

• Patience is an important virtue to people from Mexico, so
don’t appear impatient at delays or interruptions.

• In the Korean culture, men have priority. It is customary for
a man to walk through the door first, ahead of a woman, and for
the woman to help the man with his coat.

Want More? Send questions and comments to
w.willard3@knology.net.

Reference Sources:

1. National Business Employment Weekly and Princeton Creative
Research Inc., a Princeton, N.J.. consulting firm. 2. Teach
Yourself Body Language, by Gordon Wainwright. 3. The
Secret Language of Relationships: Your Complete Personology
Guide to Any Relationship With Anyone, by Gary
Goldschneider, Joost Elffers. 4. Never Be Lied to Again: How
to Get the Truth in 5 Minutes or Less in Any Conversation or
Situation, by David J. Lieberman.

About the author:
Bill Willard has been writing high-impact marketing and sales
training for over 30 years—but as Will Rogers put it: "Even if
you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
there.” Through interactive, Web-based "Do-While-Learning™"
programs, e-Newsletters and straight-talking articles, Bill
helps small-business owners and independent professionals get
the job done: profitably improving performance.